OK...so I don't have a horse in the youth game anymore, he is now playing D1 hockey and we went through all of this stuff.... It seems like history repeats itself for sure. And after writing this.... I can totally understand if you skip it, but in reading this I feel like I've been there, done that..... and got lucky.
I will leave out the parts about some great coaches and some crazy ones.... too off topic.
Here is a bit about our path:
early days - "Hey this is fun, my kid is decent"... not super star. Played on A, B teams Squirt, locally.
PW - played A and AA..... travelled far for AA (looking back, can't believe I did that)
-- (I do have to say this is where I met Hamacher hockey and really appreciated his breakdown of the path to college hockey back then... and thought this is something that cannot be an assumption and cannot be the main plan --
BTM - M16 played locally again and was fortunate to have very good teams form.
U18 / USHL kid was fortunate at the right times.
**note-AA was pretty strong at the time**
I remember thinking that after u16 everything would be free and he would play juniors etc..... not the case. And this is where many parents don't have solid perspective (I was one of them). I remember when the phone was not ringing with opportunities near the end of u16, I was freaking out. I had seen some of his colleagues get opportunities to play Juniors and get invited to camps and combines etc...... nada for my kid.
He was not a high profile kid. He was just pretty good. He made it through to district camp for 15, 16, 17 and was extremely fortunate to make Nat. Camp for u17. I would say no politics when he did not make it, and when he did, I of course thought he had a good camp, but you can never be sure.
He ended up playing u18 (out of the area on a strong team), had a very good season and ended up in the USHL.
This seems great, but I can say the main difference maker for my kid was his work ethic. I did not know if it was me encouraging (pushing) him or his own until he left home. But, I can also say he was training on and off the ice more than anyone in his age group, and worked hard all the time. I tried to take advantage of every opportunity possible to help him develop as an individual. However, we really did not have the budget to play top tier SoCal hockey so we invested in local training. When approached me about increasing his training before u16, we supported it (locally) and he improved dramatically.
I have to say a couple of things overall. I NEVER counted on the investment ending up in anything but his wellness as a kid, athlete and competitor. We were confident that he had a good head on his shoulders and would land in a good place regardless of hockey.
Advisors: I am not convinced that paying for an advisor = D1
Conclusions (because this is too long already)
Hard work can pay off - you get better, but does not guarantee success.
Hard work only in team practice most likely won't get you there if your goals are high.
What level did my kid play? A/AA hockey mostly. One year AAA at u16 in SoCal. One year u18 AAA outside state
He also very good mentors along the way which I think helped him as well.
The whole will "They will find you".... I am not convinced that "they" found my kid.
We "found" them with hard work and learning to find the right fit at the right time.....
Worry about what you can control, opportunities for improvement as a player....it's not necessarily what team he plays on.
Our journey is not over by far but I vividly remember the stress of what many of you are going through.
This is just my story as a crazy hockey parent, and I agree that there are many paths.