All rise. The Court of CAHA Shenanigans & Tomfoolery is now in session, the Honorable Judge Kangaroo Jack presiding.
Everyone please be seated, the jury has come to a decision in the matter of Jr Kings 06 v. Jr Ducks 06...
It has been said that real men do it twice… so I ask you, what about FOUR TIMES?! Four times my beloved Jr Kings of LA have beaten your beleaguered Jr Ducks of Hobo Village. FOUR TIMES in a row! Just so we’re all on the same page, for there to be a rivalry, a REAL rivalry… you’re going to have to actually WIN a game one of these days!! Come on, boys!! You’re gonna need those new Bauer skates!! The ones with the carbon-coated steel AND the flexible tongue!!
However… as the newly-elected CAHA Senior Vice President of Shenanigans & Tomfoolery, I have to be more unbiased these days. Sure, I’ll still influence a CAHA Weekend and place it in the anus of California or bury a roster investigation that my Orange County masters want nothing to do with or keep those big club Squirts playing up in the PWAA Flights their deep-pocketed parents desire… but when it comes to making fun of a once proud, pompous and downright entitled group of delusional 06 coaches and parents, I’m trying to keep things above board these days.
No more making fun of crapping the bed on Championship Monday. No more mocking parents and coaches for years without a banner. And no more ribbing my friends to the south about the stream of talent fleeing Hobo Village like a Walmart on Black Friday. That ALL ends today!
Because today… I’m all about bringing people together! I’m all about the positive! We’re all friends here in the world of hockey! We’re all encouraging pals!
So, in the honor of friends… I’d like to add a new poem to my collection of poems inspired by you. This one is a limerick, and I think you’ll like it:
“A Duckling Winterâ€
by Kangaroo Jack[
Hobo Village again is sad
Daddy coaches frustrated and mad
No banners in your future
Your hearts need a suture
Hobo Village again is sad
Yeah, it’s a little bleak. It’s a little dark. But I see it as motivation… and a new beginning, with you constantly beneath us.
Very truly yours,
Kangaroo Jack
CAHA Sr. Vice President of Shenanigans & Tomfoolery
P.S. Always remember, follow your dreams, you are a unique and special snowflake cast down from Heaven.