And yet, the parents of those kids will tell you how that doesn't happen, and they don't get the protective calls. Meanwhile the refs, many of whom struggle to skate down the ice competently, are given the instruction that the most important thing is the "safety" of the kids, so whenever there's a big kid bumping into a little kid in a 50/50 puck, and the little kid bounces off, the refs are going to make a call 80% of the time. Most of the larger kids figure this out, and you see a whole different brand of hockey. It can be eye opening to play a tournament in Boston or Minnesota and see how those games are reffed.
I really don't blame the refs. They are barely paid enough per game to cover their investment in their uniforms and gas. The experienced refs do beer league because they are paid more, and the games aren't at 7am on a saturday morning. If the leagues actually cared to fix this issue they would raise the pay and invest in more mentoring and evaluations. As it stands, even at Peewee you can and do get refs who have only passed their level 1 test, and may have been skating for 6 months. It's sad to watch a game where 10 year olds are skating circles around an adult, but that is the reality you face at least until Bantams.
The best you can do is see it for the broken comedic circus it is, and keep reminding yourself that if things go well your son or daughter will still be playing the sport when they are 14 and 15, and you start to see what level of the sport they might be capable of.