PW AA 2019-2020

[BladesofSteel66]

A couple things:


One, the idea that a club should let the parents run things is absurd.  I get it... you pay big bucks for the service (another problem in club hockey - the notion that paying money equates to the parent making demands on how things should be run). 

I know that extreme is not what you are saying  lcadad, (but soliciting feedback and surveying parents for input that motivates positive change is all that is needed (and believe me, that's a lot). 


Now two, I am not picking on any single parent, DSC, but too often, the unintended message/lesson learned by avoiding conflict and adversity is that it becomes the best strategy - always running away from problems.  Amazing things happen when you restore relationships and "make things right" through empathy and understanding.  Instead, bridges are burned and those on both sides of the river feel justified when instead they should feel compelled to be scrupulously pursuing positive change from within.  Conflict happens, people make mistakes, but as long as they take ownership of those mistakes and have pride in growing from mistakes, the world will become a better place *insert rainbows, shooting stars, and balloons* 

[Blueliner2]

OK, I'll go.

I am the dad of the kid who moved from the Flyers to Kings 1.  No enticements. No recruiting. No promises. The day we were verbally assaulted in front of our son and then watched our 12 year son get berated by the Flyers PWAA head coach when our son simply asked his coach if he could meet him and talk, we left the team. Plain and simple. Any other story out there is untrue.

Verbally assaulted?  The Flyers coach is not perfect but is tough on the kids and his commitment to having to deal with parents such as yourself are the reason why he probably shuts conversations like that down.  I have never seen him assault a kid in any way, nothing like I have seen the coach you left for anyway...  Dropping F bombs from the bench and fist bumping a kid when he runs someone seems like you really upgraded there bud. 

We teach our son to treat others with respect and we expect a head coach to demonstrate leadership qualities especially in front of his 12 year old player. Wasn't the first time this occurred but it was definitely going to be the last time. After we left, the Flyers PWAA head coach sent an email to our son apologizing for his actions. Nothing to gain other than an important lesson for our son: Nothing in life is worth more than your own self-respect for the way you allow yourself to be treated. .

Sorry to break it to you but the only lesson your boy learned here is how to run when shit gets tough.  You took getting bumped down to the "2nd line" as an insult of his "abilities" instead of the coach trying to hold accountability for something he was seeing.  Or, and I fully realize you're so self centered that the team concept is not even on your radar, consider that the team was better because of that move.  3 good lines instead of 1 line that burned out from being double shifted all the time.  What a concept.

Whatever positive impact our son could have offered the rest of this Flyer's season, parents can give those dirty looks to their coach.

And there it is.  Valencia's "problem' again.  EGO.  You came in to the season already spouting off about how he is a AAA player.  I guess I should point out how your kid's move to the "2nd line" paired him with the assist leader in all of CAHA at the time (and ended the season tied for first BTW) but your boy deserves better right?  Look, your boy is a good player and I wish him all the best next season when real hockey will start for him.  The dirty looks are all reserved for YOU because you bailed on the boys in the 11th hour.  That is so far from what hockey really is and I am sure you will do the same to your new team next year. 

[lcadad]

BoS66:


I get your point, however, there are clubs run by parents, and/or clubs that have a board.  Bears and Pasadena come to mind.  It's not so much a case of parents wanting to run things, but rather to have their questions and concerns addressed, or simply to get information about what was being planned. 


I could provide a number of examples of completely valid concerns and suggestions people had about communication or lack thereof, in regards to what was going to transpire in the spring or upcoming coaching decisions and the like.  While they finally got onto a team publishing platform, there were several years where the club website was literally never updated, and at Valencia it was hard to find out who if anyone was responsible for anything, or what was going on.  In a vacuum, and without information, people will sometimes head for greener pastures.


I should also add that the Jr. Flyers are, as has been described to me, a legal not for profit organization, where various people have called into question whether or not the club is actually meeting its requirements along that line, rather than being run for profit by the owner of the rink.   There was supposed to be chinese wall between the organizations, and transparency that I don't think anyone believes exists. 

Are there crazy parents past and present at the club?  Yes absolutely, but I also know of many that had completely reasonable ideas or gripes, and the feeling is that really nobody cares about the customers who are spending a small fortune for their kids to play hockey there for years at a time.  I also was very much in the camp that all the voting SCAHA/CAHA member clubs need to be active and attend the meetings and represent their constituents, especially when the Ducks, Kings, Sharks and GSE have so much clout. 

[BladesofSteel66]

I completely agree with transparency, I too was once part of a not for profit club and those same concerns were at the surface.  Also, club boards and the like are excellent when there is a balance of power and the roles and responsibilities are well defined (and transparent). 


We are on the same page - parent feedback (questions/concerns, etc) are absolutely imperative when running a club.  There are some clubs that run as my-way-or-high-way, but the most successful business model requires feedback and input surveyed from its costumers.  The parents are the costumers and should be heard accordingly. 

[lcadad]

I completely agree with transparency, I too was once part of a not for profit club and those same concerns were at the surface.  Also, club boards and the like are excellent when there is a balance of power and the roles and responsibilities are well defined (and transparent). 


We are on the same page - parent feedback (questions/concerns, etc) are absolutely imperative when running a club.  There are some clubs that run as my-way-or-high-way, but the most successful business model requires feedback and input surveyed from its costumers.  The parents are the costumers and should be heard accordingly.

Great summary!

[DangleSnipeCelly]

Blueliner, this coach verbally abused us parents in front of our 12 year old then berated our 12 year old.  Not on the ice.  Not in a practice or a game.  In his office sitting at his desk.  The shit didn't get tough.  My son left the team top 3 in points, goals and assists on the team, top 12 in CAHA in points, played max minutes every game, every power play, every penalty kill. My son scored 4 goals against the ice dogs to beat the ice dogs, my son scored one of the 2 goals to beat Kings 1, my son had the hat trick to beat the team at Silver Stick in Vegas playing for the Flyers.  The shit was good.  My son scored the tying goal against the ducks with 2 minutes left a few weeks ago to ruin their undefeated season. 

My son plays on the second line now and it's absolutely great. I wouldn't care if he played on the 3rd line.  My self worth lives outside my son's hockey and that self worth is greater then being mistreated by a youth coach coaching 7th graders. When a head coach doesn't show up to coach 4 or 5 CAHA weekend games because he is out of town, it's not ok with me. I expect to be treated with a minimum of respect. My son is a good player true. I care more that my son is a good person and let's be clear before I close this conversation, if my son was the worst player on the team, you would be fine with "when the shit got tough" and you'd be happy he left.  Since you love to speculate why we left with innuendos of recruiting or conspiracies, it is important to replace the BS with the truth. I wish you the best.     [size=78%]           [/size]

[Gary Sargent]

WOW WOW WOW.


That Coach must be the best development coach who ever lived!


Your kid was playing in house until he met that coach.


Of course I know your son put a lot of hard work.


Between private lesson practices clinics and games, your son was on the ice with that coach 6 hours a week for two straight years. 


I'm shocked it took soooo long to figure out how bad that coach was.

[DangleSnipeCelly]

Our son's commitment, the coach's development and devotion to the team is the reason this departure didn't occur in October.  When all the parents including you are concerned the head coach doesn't show up for 3 of the first 10 CAHA games, the question should be able to be asked without condescending, threatening responses. Uncorrected unacceptable behavior finally trumped player development.         

I wouldn't even know about this site unless someone told me there are comments being made about my son and the circumstances about why he left.  Again, 7th graders.
I hope your son enjoyed his season and I hope next year when you play with the Flyers they win it all.                         

[Landshark]

Anger, ego and vanity. It sounds like you’ll fit in well at the Kings.

[BladesofSteel66]

This thread is hilarious.  Gross over-generalizations, contradictions and hypocritical stances, personal attacks...  sounds like real politics.  I can't take any of this seriously.       I love coming into work and reading this stuff!  Gets me out of bed. 

[Ilikehockey]

DSC...what exactly were you expecting when you signed up to be on a team where the Head Coach is shared with another tier team? Did you expect him to be at every game? I think that's unrealistic. You knew what you were signing up for. You knew you would have the assistant coach for some games. Don't blame him missing some games because he was "out of town". He was coaching his other team, not on vacation, like you are making it sound. Let's be honest here.

[lcadad]

Our son's commitment, the coach's development and devotion to the team is the reason this departure didn't occur in October.  When all the parents including you are concerned the head coach doesn't show up for 3 of the first 10 CAHA games, the question should be able to be asked without condescending, threatening responses. Uncorrected unacceptable behavior finally trumped player development.                               

The thing you seem to have missed is that the people who are mad are the parents and former teammates of your son.  You've alluded to the supposed reasons for this grand public showdown you had, but somehow I have to question missed CAHA games, when you certainly knew in advance that the coach had 2 AA teams he would need to split his time between.  Somehow I have to think there was a more personal agenda involved, but it's not for me to sit in judgement.


Even if the coach yelled at you, or whatever it is that you perceived might have happened, that doesn't really explain or excuse bailing on the commitment you and your son made to his teammates.   There's another message and example you didn't articulate, and that is that when things get a little bit tough in the real world of imperfect human behavior, it's ok to bail out on friends and teammates, so long as that is easy and convenient for you.  Those are the people your decision effected.  Claiming to wish them well in the future is a hollow meaningless gesture at this point.   

[805hockey]

DSC...what exactly were you expecting when you signed up to be on a team where the Head Coach is shared with another tier team? Did you expect him to be at every game? I think that's unrealistic. You knew what you were signing up for. You knew you would have the assistant coach for some games. Don't blame him missing some games because he was "out of town". He was coaching his other team, not on vacation, like you are making it sound. Let's be honest here.

Not for nothing, but I know that coach pretty well and many on the team, and that was the understanding of the people I talked to....that the coach was gonna split time between his AA teams.  That coach has always had a very stern personality, and you get that from day 1..

[Ilikehockey]

Not for nothing, but I know that coach pretty well and many on the team, and that was the understanding of the people I talked to....that the coach was gonna split time between his AA teams.  That coach has always had a very stern personality, and you get that from day 1..

Exactly! Everyone who signed up with the team knew they would be sharing the head coach. Not a big deal at all, and definitely not a reason to jump ship.

[BladesofSteel66]

Stern coaches?!?!  High expectations?!!?  Life lessons!   


Regardless of my own experience as an athlete, I have sat in on many panels of former NHL players.  They are always asked about "the coach that was your favorite." 


They always respond two-fold.  Sure, there was a coach they loved and was really nice and a great coach, BUT the S.O.B. that was hard, demanding, candid, stern, mean, etc (you get the idea) was always the coach they respected the most and the coach they revered for pushing them the hardest to succeed.  Every time I hear, "I hated him at first, but I love what he did for me as a player." 


Ice hockey is full of children raised with a silver spoon.  So many are spoiled and take everything for granted.  Very VERY few have a full-blown hard-nosed work ethic that great coaching demands.  Leaving/quitting, whatever you want to call it, eventually, players burn themselves out because they no longer are getting spoon-fed by the coaches and mommy and daddy aren't there to make things better.