"A DAY AT THE RINK"
A One-Act Play by Jack Bender
RANDOM ASS HAT: Hey, Jack. How's it going?
JACK: Pretty good, Random Ass Hat.
RANDOM ASS HAT: Gee, Jack. Can you tell us the purpose of CAHA?
JACK: Sure, Random Ass Hat. Let's go look at the CAHA bylaws, shall we?
CAHA 2019-2021 Guidebook
Pg. 73
Part 5: Bylaws and Addendums
Section 20.3 Purpose
The purpose of CAHA, in addition to any purposes set forth in the Articles of Incorporation of the organization, is as follows:
1. To encourage, foster and promote the development and growth of the sport of amateur ice hockey within the State of California.
2. To conduct certain affairs of USA Hockey, to assist in the governance of the Registered Participant Members and Member Teams of USA Hockey and to regulate the sport of amateur ice hockey within the State of California.
3. To encourage and develop the mental knowledge, skills, ability and sportsmanship of all participants with respect to the sport of amateur ice hockey.
4. To conduct State ice hockey tournaments and to select representative Member Teams to participate in USA Hockey District, Regional, and National Tournaments.
5. To carry out all other responsibilities, duties and obligations imposed on CAHA pursuant to the Affiliated Agreement with USA Hockey.
RANDOM ASS HAT: Gee, that first bylaw is interesting, isn't it?
JACK: Yes, it is, Random Ass Hat.
RANDOM ASS HAT: It doesn't really sound like CAHA is following their own bylaws, though, does it?
JACK: No, Random Ass Hat.
RANDOM ASS HAT: And, correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't say CAHA's purpose is to protect the sanctity of AAA hockey in California or to make sure California clubs are competitive at a national level, does it?
JACK: No, Random Ass Hat.
RANDOM ASS HAT: In fact, it really seems like CAHA has been abusing their power, overreaching, playing favorites, limiting opportunity, suppressing competition, and manipulating amateur hockey for all these years?
JACK: Yes, Random Ass Hat. Yes.
RANDOM ASS HAT: Holy crap. What a bunch of assholes.
JACK: Now you're learning, Random Ass Hat. Nice job.
THE END